My Dearest Parents,
It is with a heavy heart that I write this letter to you, but I feel it is my responsibility as a good son to let you know what my feelings are regarding arranged marriages in our culture. I am aware that many generations of our family have resulted from arranged marriage and they have been good relationships, but times have changed and the world’s views on such practices have as well. You know I would never dream of showing you any type of disrespect or do anything harmful to our culture, but it would be a disservice to the loving people who brought me into this world and have given me the tools to become a good man if I did not let you know what was in my heart where my feelings of marriage are concerned.
For starters, I feel that the idea of arranged marriages in our culture is becoming more of the exception rather than the rule. Men and women are getting to know one another before making the decision to enter into such a deep, life-long commitment it is allowing couples to get to know one another to make sure they are truly compatible for that type of step toward marriage. While people in arranged marriages in the past have developed feelings for one another over time, it would make life so much easier if a couple began married life wanting to be together forever. Love sometimes is not on the minds of those arranging the marriage, and it is not a guarantee that the marriage will last, but it to me and other young men and women my age to have fallen in love with the person they choose to marry.
I also have to point out that in today’s world there is not an essential need to arrange marriages for the sake of economic stability between families. With both men and women seeking careers outside of the home, each spouse can contribute their own earnings so the household is financially stable on its own merit. There is no longer a need to supply a dowry for marriage, and young couples who are starting out in life together can move forward planning together, not relying upon either set of parents to help them financially for any reason. This makes it easier for married couples to plan their financial future independently, making these goals more realistic to achieve together. It gives both parties a voice in what happens.
There is also the possibility that I could look to marry a woman who is outside of my own heritage. I realize dear parents this is something you might not initially support, but there could be a woman whose own cultural background compliments my own and can be blended together so we can make a good life together. This is something that has happened amongst my peers and it does seem to work well for their marriage. I would like to have that freedom if I meet a woman who fits my criteria for a suitable marriage partner.
Again, I have to stress I have no intention of any disrespect, but rather to show my honest feelings so we can discuss them and move forward so I can find a marriage partner suitable for me. I am truly grateful for the tools you have given me during the early years of my life and know that you have raised a good man who wanted to have a good life with the right spouse. I hope you consider what I have written carefully.
With Love and Respect,